Saturday, August 15, 2009

Missed reunions, silver weddings and rolls, rolls, rolls...

The two-nights-out-in-a-row-night-out last night didn't happen for reasons outwith my control. It was a reunion night and I was looking forward to meeting up. I felt really bad for not going and hope they'll invite me to the next one.

There had to be a certain amount of serendipity in it though as today was the busiest day I've had in a long while and no doubt, with even just a slight hangover, I would not have been able to cope.

Before heading out, the kids and I made rolls for lunch. The weird and wonderful shapes they moulded them into were bizarre to say the least but they turned out lovely; it's amazing how much more the kids enjoy eating them when they've had a wee hand in creating them.

From this.....

To this.

My large roll, to be sliced and shared.

Everyone is happy.
I spent what was left of the evening writing out the invitations I had made for my friend's wedding anniversary party. It is very simple with silver hearts, one little white heart and silver grey font; I bought silver card which unfortunately was damaged when I opened the packet so I just went ahead and made them with two white layers instead of three as time was running out.
It's nicer than it looks, the photograph doesn't do it justice; more to do with my shaky, tired aim than anything else. I've faded out the address and telephone number, as you can see (for obvious reasons).

Tomorrow, I will be attending Help for our Heroes event organised by my local pub, The Burnbrae and the kids are excited at the thought of helicopters, soldiers and sailors milling around....not that the helicopter should be doing any actual milling but you never know.... It's a great day for Sundays in my City as started by Unknown Mami. So pictures galore tomorrow.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday night's all right for drinking

Last night, my friend Karen had a few of us gals over for wine and snacks. I so wish I'd had my camera with me because my eyes bulged when she brought out this huge platter of antipasti, tomatoes, strawberries, grapes, cheese, pate, crackers and crudites as well as dips and crisps. Trying to hide my glee by actually letting someone else get to the platter before me, as my borderline mannerly mind dictates, I sat tap, tap, tapping my foot before practically shoving Anne out of the way as she hovered over the cheese. I tried to shield the platter from Shona but she stabbed me with a fork to get in. She didn't actually stab me with anything but I could tell she was thinking about it.

It was utterly delicious and perfect alongside my red wine and what with the great chat and company, I had a lovely night.

Anne had recently been on holiday and whilst perusing the goods for sale in a local farm shop, she came across a plaque, a plaque that she had no choice but to purchase for me. If I had seen it first, and it was a choice between eating that night and buying the plaque for her, I'd have still purchased the plaque because never has a truer plaque been seen:
She also got one for herself. And just to show how much blogging has pervaded my world, my first thought after laughing was 'Vintage Kitten' would love this. I love it. It has pride of place in my kitchen. Thank you Anne.

I shall be making bread today...bread and cake. Dinner will consist of bacon, egg and chips with homemade bread and butter, a classic if somewhat lazy British delicacy which we all get cravings for from time to time. Sometimes, it's sausages and occasionally, there are beans. Sometimes you also have to add a tomato, just to live a little, you know? I happen to be going out again tonight, two nights in a row not being my forte so I shall need comfort food, a day of light activity and an eye pack to disguise the night before. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Schnecken (Happy Cakes)

I like to think of myself as a happy person. Neither up nor down most days, really rather happy the rest. Every once in a while though, something happens, something simple and so unexpected that you realise just how wonderful life is.

It's never about money...don't get me wrong, a lottery win would be good...and neither is it about power; who needs power when you're the mum of three despots. That leaves love and food; love and food encompass such a variety of actions and emotions. Both are complicated and incredibly simple: a touch from a child's hand against your face, a delicate slice of smoked salmon, perhaps a special kind of cake.....

Schnecken. Such a nice wee word. It makes you think "wonder what it could be? A sausage? A stew perhaps. Maybe a bread. Or a cake. Yes...a CAKE!". And you'd be right. You'd be dead right. But what you would fail to understand is how incredibly, delightfully right you'd be.

So, you may be wondering if I'm drunk. Well yes I am, but not on drink. On cake. Schnecken to be exact. Schnecken has brought me joy and happiness tonight in abundance. Happy cake, Kelly has christened it. I'm not going to hide it, I'm not going to lie; I just made the best bun every to be created in God's sweet earth. Why haven't I made this before, I wondered. Meh. Looks a bit messy, a bit complicated. Can't really be bothered when there are so many other, simpler recipes out there. Well, I'm so glad that tonight, I took the plunge and went for it.

My happiness summed up: schnecken bun, cup of illy coffee and 11 more looking at me from the dish.

Messy doesn't begin to describe making this but if ever a complete mess were worth it, then this is it. It's not that messy making it but cooking it and getting it out the pan....it's not hard, just make sure you have the oven gloves ready. Melted sugar and skin do not mix.

Nigella...the recipe giver...did say it was a bit tricky but she never mentioned that the bottom of my oven would be covered in molten lava sugar or that the muffin tin would resemble a nuclear fallout.


But when you empty out the tin and these buns come tumbling out, the smell of the maple sugar and golden syrup with a hint of cinnamon hitting your senses, you don't care. You'd throw away the tin...heck, you'd throw away the oven if you had to.

This is how the buns looked prior to baking; I don't think I'd rolled the dough quite tight enough as the cinnamon sugary filling was spilling out but I sprinkled the escaped sugar on top.

Add Image
Here is a lady who made it properly; this is how it should look before cooking:
Since she has better style than me and gives a brilliant, blow by blow account of how it should be done, I'm going to take the easy route and direct you to her schnecken recipe. I will give you the UK list of ingredients though as the ingredients listed on this blog are American amounts and ingredients.

I would say though, my first go was pretty amazing (incase you couldn't tell) and you really can't go wrong. My one piece of advice? Place foil or parchment paper on the bottom of your oven and do not remove until the oven is cold and the sugar that has fallen onto it has cooled completely.

British Ingredients for Schnecken
for the dough:
500g bread flour
50g caster sugar
Half teaspoon salt
7g (1 sachet) easy blend yeast or 15g fresh yeast
75g unsalted butter
150ml milk
2 large eggs

for the syrup:
125g unsalted butter
2tablespoons demerara sugar (I used soft brown simply because I had no demerara left)
4 tablespoons maple syrup (I used 2)
3 tablespoons golden syrup
200g walnut or pecan pieces (I used pecans bashed up, around 50g as half were made without any nuts for the kids)

for the glaze:
1 large egg
2 tablespoons milk (this seemed like an awful lot: small egg and one tablespoon milk is fine)

for the filling:
50g caster sugar
100g demerara sugar (I used soft brown sugar)
1 tablespoon cinnamon

12 bun muffin tin, buttered
Parchment lined tray or tin to empty the buns into...they may stick a little, help them out but please watch the dripping molten lava which is melted sugar! No hospital trips please!
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Last night I made vegetable curry with boiled rice and my quick version of paratha. It's amazing what you can cook when the cupboard is bare; serves me right for freezing all the meat.

Vegetable Curry with Paratha
For the paste:
2 red chillies, de-seeded
Ginger, around 2 inches, peeled
1 shallot
2 cloves garlic

Blend. Then add the following, once ground:

Approx. 1 teaspoon Cumin seeds, Coriander seeds, Fennel Seeds, Fenugreek Seeds, half cinnamon stick, 3 cardamon pods. All you really need are the cumin, coriander, cinnamon and cardamon pods. Toast lightly in a pan and then grind, using a pestle and mortar. Add to blender. Give it a quick buzz.

Curry
Choose vegetables to taste. I chose a few large potatoes, peeled and cubed, a courgette, chopped into large chunks and a tin of chick peas.
Homemade tomato sauce, around cupful (optional)
Tin chopped tomatoes
Salt, pepper
Yoghurt
Half lime
Handful coriander (optional...I didn't have any fresh)
Clarified butter, ghee or oil-tablespoon

Heat up butter or oil in a deep pan and scrape out the paste into the hot pan. Fry gently for around 5-8 minutes. Add in the vegetables and stir. Add in tomato sauce, tinned tomatoes and a little water. Stir, bring to the boil then simmer with the lid on for at least 30-45 minutes. Check seasoning, add the lime juice and serve with a few tablespoons yoghurt and plain boiled rice.

Paratha

Rather than go through what seems like a complicated process, especially if explained by me, I'll just give you the link to the great site which tells you how to make this wonderful, flaky bread. It really is quite simple once you've done it step by step.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Monday Memories and Baking Bread

I was 16 or 17 when I left home. I moved into a rambling old house in the West End of Glasgow, an affluent, gorgeous area with some of the larger houses still intact...many had been sold for turning into apartments by then.

A girl I barely knew from a local pub happened upon me looking at ads in a shop window for accommodation; she was about to put an ad in the window for a flatmate that very moment and therein lies serendipity; my fate, which I live today was spun into motion by that chance meeting outside a wee corner shop in Byres Road. But that's another tale.

I went to see the place that very night; a beautiful old building just a stone's throw from the Botanic Gardens. We ventured towards the basement, where the flat was, which had it's own entrance. The rest of the house was still owned by a very old lady who was in need of a little extra cash. Her family had owned the house and she'd travelled but had never lived anywhere else.

The windows on the outside had bars....to stop the servants escaping?...and the inside gave me chills. The house was furnished with old but beautiful pieces of wood from a time gone by: an old gramophone, chest of drawers, tabletops and writing desks to name but a few. My room was at the end of a long, dark corridor, sparse but cheap at £30 per month. I wasn't overly delighted but at that price, I took it. My flatmate told me to avoid the bathroom too early in the mornings...she didn't say why and told me not to be worried by any...um...noises I might hear.

A period of time passed and I settled in; I was reasonably happy as it was near the bus stop, Byres Road, the park. I found myself in by myself a lot as flatmate worked at nights in the bar and our paths rarely crossed. One night, sitting in the vast but dingy living room, I heard her come home. I was surprised as it was quite early and heard her walk into the kitchen, run some water, fill a glass, drink it and sigh in what sounded like relief. I got up to go greet her to find the kitchen empty. There was no sound except for the drip drip drip of the tap. A cold shiver came over me and I sat back down in the living room, scared and more than a bit spooked.

Other things had happened before; music, the sound of laughter, the discovery that right next to my bedroom was a door which had been plastered over. I went outside to look and found another window beside mine. It was full of furniture, a piano but that was all I could see because of the dust on the window and the bars blocking my view. I realised that the only way in was through the plastered over door right next to my bed. I can't begin to tell you how that made me feel.

I discovered another door which led to a pitch black room; a torch showed me that the room hadn't been touched for many, many years and that the floor dropped just in front of me to about two feet. I didn't like that room and after that first peek, I never went back.

That night, the night of the water being turned on, I went to bed, all of 16, on my own in a big scary house...this dawned on me for the first time. I eventually fell into a light sleep only to be woken by a terrifying noise within my room. I sat up, unable to open my eyes with the fear of it and jumped up, fumbling for the door handle. This was hard to find with my eyes closed shut. I ran into the living room, crying my eyes out, shouting to my stunned flatmate and boyfriend who were sitting watching tv that there was someone in my room.

We cautiously walked up the long, dark hallway and boyfriend tried the door handle to find it firmly closed. He heaved at it with his shoulder and managed to get the door open to find utter chaos; every poster was on the floor, my bedclothes everywhere and a painting which had been nailed to the wall ever since my flatmate had lived there was lying against the wall, back to front with a note written in French. The boyfriend, who was very practical and unable to believe any such thing as ghosts put it down to coincidence or me sleepwalking...but he was obviously spooked.

We went back to the living room and flatmate told me something that freaked me out even more than I already was....she believed that there were things...she was loath to give them a name...that lived in the house, things, she said that had been there long before we had...we were the interlopers. She said they'd never bothered her and that my fear was causing this reaction. She told me that if I calmed down, I'd be left alone. Her boyfriend was mad at her for saying this and tried to reassure me but I'd already decided that I would have to leave.
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I've been baking a lot of bread recently and I'm really enjoying it; I enjoy the kneading, the shaggy mess coming together to form a smooth, soft doughball and then rising only to be punched out again and then, eventually, baked in the oven. The smell is incredible; the kids get excited, Brian smiles and we all prepare the butter, the cheese or sometimes, even the nutella and jam.

It's difficult leaving it to cool...too many times we've ripped into it too early because we all like to see the butter melt over the white, fluffy inside and to eat it whilst still warm. It's supposed to be difficult getting a good crust in a normal oven but we always seem to manage it quite well and I eat any of the kids leftover crusts by dipping them first in olive oil and balsamic vinegar or spreading them with jam. A bag of freshly baked crusts can make me very happy indeed.

There are so many recipes for bread and I'll share different ones from time to time but the secret is in the kneading and the waiting for it to rise then kneading once again. If making plain bread, I always dust it with flour but I do like flavoured breads...poppy seeds, nuts, garlic and parsley.....it's a meal all on it's own, it's all about sharing and everyone revels in the performance.

Bread costs approx. 50 pence per 500g loaf to make when purchasing a 3kg bag of flour and yeast sachets.
£1.88 for 3kg bread flour.
£0.29 for easy bake yeast.
A little oil or butter.

We had some yesterday with cheddar and goats cheese, olives, apple and butter. Mmmmmm.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hunter's Chicken Stew and Apple Pie

My latest food shopping bill came to £32. I decided to buy a meagre week's worth as we have a few things planned over the last week of the holidays and I don't want any food going to waste. Plus, I have a huge batch of tomato sauce amongst other leftovers to be used up. I was very frugal today, going to three different shops to get their bargains. At Somerfield, I got a Large Boneless Pork Leg for half price; at Asda, I got a British Beef Roasting Joint for less than half price. You get the idea. I figured I've saved approx. £25 this morning so it was worth trailing the shops-I did check online first so I knew what I was going for.

Today, I made Hunter's Stew. This is Jamie Oliver's version and it looks pretty darn good. I've made two dishes, one with the olives and anchovies and one without...no point antagonising the children. I've made many different versions of this stew, also known as chicken cacciatore and this is a version I wanted to try for a while. It looks lovely but like all stews, I let it get cool and reheat it for later as it tastes oh so much better that way. This is a brilliant dish to make for a big party-just double/triple up on the ingredients.

Hunter's Chicken Stew

1 x 2kg chicken, jointed, or use the equivalent amount of chicken pieces-I buy free-range chicken pieces, around 1-2 per person.
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 bay leaves
2 sprigs of fresh rosemary
3 cloves of garlic, peeled (1 crushed, 2 sliced)
½ a bottle of Chianti
flour, for dusting
Extra virgin olive oil
6 anchovy fillets
Handful of green or black olives, stoned
2 x 400g tins of good-quality plum tomatoes

Season the chicken pieces with salt and freshly ground black pepper and put them into a bowl. Add the bay leaves and rosemary sprigs and the crushed clove of garlic and cover with the wine. Leave to marinate for at least an hour, but preferably overnight in the fridge.

Preheat your oven to 180ºC/350ºF/gas 4. Drain the chicken, reserving the marinade, and pat dry with kitchen paper. Dust the chicken pieces with flour and shake off any excess. Heat an ovenproof pan, add a splash of olive oil and a little butter, fry the chicken pieces until browned lightly all over and put to one side.

Place the pan back on the heat and add the sliced garlic. Fry gently until golden brown, then add the anchovies, olives, tomatoes (broken up with a wooden spoon) and the chicken pieces with their reserved marinade. I used two pans, one with the anchovies and olives, one without for the kids. Bring to the boil, cover with a lid or a double thickness layer of foil and bake in the preheated oven for 1½ hours.

Skim off any oil that’s collected on top of the sauce, then stir, taste and add a little salt and pepper if necessary. Remove the bay leaves and rosemary sprigs.

Jamie recommends that this is served with a salad, or some cannellini beans, and plenty of Chianti. I serve it with mashed potatoes & pureed, spicy cannellini beans...boiled in mild stock with a pinch of chilli flakes until soft enough to mash with a little butter and cream, salt and pepper....and crusty bread. Mmmmmm.

For afters, I made a classic apple pie dish. this will be served with home-made vanilla ice-cream.

Apple Pie

Ingredients
For the pastry:
255g/9oz plain flour
Pinch of salt
140g/5oz hard margarine or butter
6 tsp cold water

For the filling:
3 large Bramley cooking apples, chopped, stewed in simmering water until soft and cooled
A tablespoon of sugar or more to taste
Caster sugar, to serve

Method:
Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6.
Sieve the flour and salt into a bowl. Rub in the margarine or butter until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add the cold water to the flour mixture. Using a knife, mix the water into the flour, using your hand to firm up the mixture. The pastry should be of a suitable consistency for rolling.
Divide the pastry into two halves. Take one half and roll it out so that it is big enough to cover an 20cm/8in enamel or aluminium plate. Trim the edges with a knife using the edge of the plate as your guide. Cover the pastry with the stewed apples and sprinkle with sugar to taste.
Roll out the other half of the pastry. Moisten the edge of the bottom layer of pastry and place the second piece on top. Press down on the pastry edges, making sure that they are properly sealed. Trim off any excess pastry with a knife in a downward motion, again using the plate as your guide. Flute the edges with a pinching action using your fingers and thumb.
Prick the surface of the pastry lightly or make a few holes, decorating with any leftover pastry, i.e. leaves, before placing the pie in the oven. Cook for 20-30 minutes until golden brown.
Dust with caster sugar and serve.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Coffee Pots, Chips and Yoga Moves

I met a group of friends at the ski club for lunch of lentil soup and little else while the kids gorged on chocolate muffins. We wandered down to the local park, Eileen and I stopping off at her house to fill a tray with freshly brewed coffee, a pot of tea, chocolates, biscuits, juice, china mugs and sweets. We carried the tray to the park (right next door) along with a few chairs and sat sipping our drinks, soaking up the sun and watching the world go by.

The kids played away happily, entertaining themselves with footballs, swings and the occasional visit to 'Terabithia'. All was well until we started to talk about fish n' chips, Kember & Jones, sun-blushed tomatoes and food in general. I got so hungry I started imagining my arm was a leg of mutton and barely stopped myself chewing it right there and then.

I got home and immediately made a fritatta out of leftover spaghetti and an egg. It filled a wee spot somewhere at the bottom of my tummy but the hunger was still there. Having had my dinner, I was loathe to eat anything else, because, as you know, those pounds are shifting slowly enough anyway but I eventually decided to just have some chips and be done with it.

Brian rolled his eyes, picked up his car keys, took Kelly and brought home a bag of chips and a jar of pickled onions. The kids couldn't believe their luck, having also already had their tea and we all sat with tiny little bowls of vinegar soaked chippy chips, pickled onions and slices of bread.

I felt much better afterwards and realised that when the stodge need overtakes, you need to go with the flow and just not overdo it. I've done an hour of yoga to compensate.....I don't profess to think that there is anything other than a calorie deficit but I don't care. I enjoyed them, they enjoyed me and the yoga made me feel sublime.

Sometimes, all it takes to make you happy is a chip, a pickle and an asana or two!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Uniforms, Mugdock and Mud

Mugdock Wood

There are promises everywhere of deals galore but the humble school uniform still ends up costing me a fortune. Three times everything soon adds up; it's not just the trousers and the shirts and the jumpers but then there's school bags, pencils, socks, hair bands, hats, a lung and a mummy's will to live.

The kids look forward to buying school uniforms so we make a day of it, usually involving ten shops to find Kelly the best jumper or Lucy the perfect hair band. Fraser just goes with the flow..."whatever, mum". We trawled the shop looking for just the right shoes for Kelly and school bags which could be customised. I resisted the urge to tell them that in our day a poly bag would have done and 'customised' meant graffiti, no matter what you called it.

We had grandpa to stay and quite a lot of trips planned over the past few days. The kids have had a ball and the rest of the week is just as busy. Next week, they'll attend the church summer school every morning, in preparation of getting up at a fairly reasonable hour for school. It's free, it's crafty and all three can attend....anyone up for coffee and cake next week, I'll meet you at the corner; it's on me!

In the meantime, I'm planning my trip to Canada and I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'll arrive in Toronto and fly out to Montreal for the weekend with the lovely Kate and Jill. Then I'll see Pauline, my old school friend who ran away with a tall, handsome Canadian and her lovely brood, one of which I haven't even met before and then possibly head to Niagara on the Lake for a tour of the wineries, a show at the famous Shaw Theatre and a slap up meal. After that, it's spa, shopping, walking, reading, swimming and cocktails. Happy sigh.

I've been walking daily, for miles at a time and yet these pesky pounds just don't seem to be shifting; actually, they are, but it's been so dang slow. I know it's supposed to be good for it to come off slowly but sheesh, come on! Months of walking every day, cutting down on what I already think of as a healthy diet and I've lost half a stone (7 pounds). I'd rather it was off than on, of course but come ON!! SHIFT, DAMN YOU, SHIFT!

We had a wonderful brunch for my mum's birthday on Sunday and afterwards I walked to Byres Road...a hub of activity in the West End of Glasgow...and sat outside Kember & Jones in the sunshine drinking their lovely illy coffee. I purchased some of their sunblushed tomatoes with oregano to have with pasta later on that evening. The family gate-crashed me chilling and we wandered around in the sunshine, stopping in Nancy Smillie and De-Courcy's Arcade along the way. When we got home, the kids, dad and Grandpa had an omelette with baked potato and salad whilst I cooked some spaghetti and mixed it with homemade pesto, the sunblushed tomatoes and a small handful of grated parmesan cheese.

Although I love the sun-blushed tomatoes from Kember & Jones, I've discovered that Tesco (a supermarket chain) sell them at half the price. I bought some and added my own oregano and they were delicious.
We walked through Mugdock wood yesterday, starting at Milngavie, the beginning of The West Highland Way. We headed up to the castle to catch frogs and newts and then for lunch at the little cafe in the courtyard. We got caught in the rain a few times but it was a brilliant walk, the kids not noticing how long it was as they were having a grand time with their pals. Fraser decided to see how deep some quick sand was though...eejit...and almost sunk in to the bog but we caught him just in time.
Kelly and Laura with the wee 'uns trailing behind.

Lucy with a newt.

Ciaran and Fraser as the Grim Reaper...apparently.

Lucy, Lemon and J.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Bloggy Peeps Prizes

To all my bloggy peeps who won a prize in June; can you email me at weeangel@hotmail.com and let me know if you have received your wee Scottish prize? Thank you!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Monday Memories II

Life gets in the way of blogging sometimes, especially during the summer holidays. I have some lovely recipes to share tomorrow evening but, til then, some more Monday Memories...

My three little bairns in our old house.

The kids in the jammies Pauline sent over from Canada. Comfy cosy.
My graduation, Glasgow Uni, 2003
Lucy, Niagara Falls, Canada
Boardwalking, Niagara Falls
Mum nearly having a heart attack as the kids look into the falls!
Lucy, as a wee tot, looking slightly dishevelled in the rain.
Kelly, centre with Lucy, left and Fraser. Niagara, Canada

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Me Maw, Me Maw...it wisnae Me Maw

The kids and I went to an open day at the local fire station; we saw a chip pan fire, dogs catching baddies and rescuing bodies, falconry in action, the kids got to touch the tawny owl, sit in a police car and put the siren on and left with an armful of useless but delightful goodies.

We walked into the mini nearby town and then home via the park and ski club. I wanted to lie in the middle of the busy road and have a car just run me over after the third hour walking. Energy, where are you? I'm thinking I can't be eating enough cake! Yeah...that's what it is...I need more cake. And gin. Wonder if you can make a gin cake.....?

I've not had to shop for a while as I'm using up all the ingredients already littering the kitchen cupboards, freezer and fridge. A few items were purchased yesterday alongside the beef for the steak pie; milk, croissants and sweeties for the kids.

Today, I made a large pot of vegetable and lentil soup, pot pies, a fresh fruit loaf and triple chocolate muffins of which I had none....greedy kids! I used all store cupboard ingredients and the cost was minimal.

The pot pies used the remainder of the beef in stock from yesterday with added vegetables and topped with mashed potato and an equal mixture of cheese and breadcrumbs. They bake in the oven for around 20 minutes at a medium heat or until breadcrumb topping turns brown. They were lovely.

The soup used up the rest of the carrots and turnip and the muffins contained a mixture of dark and milk chocolate chips as well as some chocolate buttons sitting in the sweetie drawer.

Tomorrow, it could be anything; pesto potatoes or pepper pancakes; chili chocolate or chicken chausseur. Whatever it shall be, it shall be after brunch with my mum as it is her birthday! I've left bacon in the fridge and eggs in the cupboard for the family to fend for themselves during my short absence....what's the chances of them waiting til I come home?