The squatters have moved in.

The amount of 'anonymous' piffle on my comments has grown exponentially since my hiatus.   Begone, evil anonymous pifflers, I'm back and you can just bog off with your 'buy adult chickens' and 'buy bizarre liquids'; what is an adult chicken anyway?   Aren't all chickens 'adult'?   Does anyone ever click on these links?   Have the anonymous computer generator peeps nothing more substantial to do with their time?

Aaaaand rant over.

How are you all?   How have you been?  I missed you.   I've been cooking, crafting and generally messing about, limiting my time to mimimum use of the computer.   I've still been shopping on a budget, as usual and cooking tasty meals...or so the kids tell me...even taking photos, knowing I'd be back one day....and looking after the family as always.

My life in food...and badges!    Recipes to follow...I'll be back on Thursday.   Have a wonderful week.

 Sweet and Spicy Goats Cheese and Prawn Salad

Roasted Scallops, Potatoes, Onions and Chorizo...sublime!

Slow Cooked Spicy Lamb Shanks

Chocolate Tart

A bit of a tart...and fruity to boot!

Kids' Fish, Potatoes and Cucumber...pretty tasty, kids!

Helen's New Badges and Gift Tags

Such fun to make and selling well!

Customised for Birthday Favours

Who for?   You guessed it....

Paris

Night Nurse

Ooyah!

Can you claim compensation against yourself?   Since the world has gone mad and every other advert on tv is some dodgy lawyer telling you how you can sue your neighbour for looking at you funny, I thought I'd take it that one step further.   On completing my very enjoyable first session back to yoga on Tuesday, I awoke rather sore and unable to walk without sounds of "ooyah...ouch" escaping from my mouth.   How annoyed was I then, to find an ill placed pair of high heels, jaggy side up, waiting for me on the stairs as I ooyah'd my way down them last night.

Needless to say, my pain this morning from the resounding crash of falling over said shoe and continued pain of lying dormant for 4 weeks and then doing 1.5 hours of yoga is still of the 'rather sore' variety and someone needs to be blamed.  Since I only have myself, then that witch is going down!   The content of my purse contains £4.25 but I have cakes in the fridge, I wonder if that will pay her off?

My strange obsession with People Who Sue began when I read about a lady who, having been invited to a dinner party, found herself falling through her host's dining chair, much to her chagrin but the laughter of others.   The host was apologetic and the lady in question had a bit of a bruised bum and ego but nevertheless, the night continued to much enjoyment of all. 

Two days later, the host receives a letter from a lawyer, explaining that she is being sued for "upset, pain and embarrassment caused whilst in the care of said host's home".   Yes, this was from her lady friend who fell through the chair.   The host, as you can imagine, was astounded and called her soon to be ex friend up and asked her what was the meaning of this; the lady said that people laughed at her and it was all her fault.

Oh dear oh dear.   I'm not normally at a loss for words yeah...we've noticed.....zzzzzzzz.....but this just leaves me speechless.   Since then, I've watched in horrific fascination at the People Who Sue and their reasons behind it....bar the extortion of money of course.   Any stories to fascinate me with?

But enough of that!   Cakes!   Yes, cakes!   I made Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes and Mini Chocolate Cheesecakes yesterday.   Why so many, Helen, I hear you ask?   Well, the strawberry ones I had wanted to try and was visiting my lovely friend Karen so was going to take some with me.  The recipe called for 200g of digestive biscuits to be ground and sprinkled on the top.   I duly complied, even though I knew such an amount was ludicrous and must be a typo ok, Brian pointed it out and called me an eejit, but first time making it, I stick to the recipe.   Of course, I was left with approx. 150g of digestive dust and when life gives you said dust, what else can you do with it but make it into cheesecake?   Hence the choccy mini cheesecakey thingies.

Strawberry Cheesecake Cupcakes.....lovely!

Topped with digestive crumbs and strawberries

Inside: strawberries, cake, cream cheese frosting

I'm not a big fan of baked fruit and was a bit dubious but these were delightful.  The recipe was from The Hummingbird Bakery cookbook that the gorgeous Shona gave to me although I coloured the icing and added a little less icing sugar than the recipe called for...plus those digestive crumbs don't forget!   I'll play with the recipe a little and post it once I've given it another go.

The chocolate cheesecake pics and recipe to follow next post!   They're still setting in the fridge.   Not for long though................

When it comes to pasta dishes, I like to experiment and sometimes I get it right, sometimes not.   There are some key ingredients I always have in the fridge which means I can make a quick dinner or supper and feed any unexpected guests.   They are usually tomatoes, jarred artichokes, proscuitto, feta, Parmesan and some cream or creme fraiche alongside the veg rack of onions, garlic, chillies and ginger.   All of these ingredients keep for ages, except the cream and creme fraiche but I make sure I buy really fresh so that it will last as long as possible...that's me you see with her arm at the back of the chiller cabinet, tongue hanging out as I try and reach the freshest tubs.

Last night, I made pasta spirals for the kids and kept some back for myself.   I took out all of the fridge ingredients above as well as a green pepper which needed using and some lettuce leaves.   The pasta that followed it was incredible!   I was so happy with it, I wrote down quantities immediately, knowing I'd want to make it again and again.   

I reluctantly stopped myself finishing it and placed the remainder in the fridge as I'm always looking for good pasta dishes that can be served cold.   By supper time, I decided to eat it and it was just as delicious.   I highly recommend you try this...add or remove ingredients to taste...for example pine nuts and garlic would be nice but I love it exactly as it is.

Helen's Five Minute Spiral Pasta

 Ingredients (serves 1 greedy person or 2):

Handful or two of cooked spiral pasta

1 small green or yellow pepper, diced

Handful washed and dried lettuce leaves, any kind or spinach

A few slices of proscuitto, torn in half or quarters

Artichoke quarters; I used one and a half, chopped

A few tablespoons oil from the artichoke jar

A small handful of feta

Approx. 5 cherry tomatoes, halved

A large tablespoon Parmesan

A few tablespoons creme fraiche (I used half fat) or cream

Spoon the oil from the artichoke jar into the frying pan and heat.   Add the green peppers and cherry tomatoes.   Stir for a minute and add the proscuitto.   It will immediately start to crisp up, once it starts to go crispy, turn it over.   Add artichokes.    

Stir for another minute or two and throw in the lettuce leaves or spinach.   Stir again and turn the heat to the lowest setting. Add in the spiral pasta, feta, creme fraiche or cream and the Parmesan along with a really good grinding of black pepper.   Stir to combine and heat through then serve immediately.   You won't be sorry!

Spiral Pasta

Kelly had a craving for Mozarella sticks, the way a particular fast food restaurant makes them so I made her these:

Shallow fried mozarella sticks

She ate some but something was missing.....we figured out afterwards it was the sauce this particular restaurant gave you to go with it, no idea what it is though, could it be sweet chilli....but Brian polished them off, happily.   The mozarella was sliced, dipped in egg, seasoned flour, egg and breadcrumbs, shallow fried in groundnut oil and drained on kitchen towel.   Easy peasy and tasty to some; personally, fried cheese holds no interest for me.

When life gives you lemons.....

....you crystalise them, preserve them or make a lovely lemon cake.   And lemonade of course.    No, no real lemons....simply a crappy metaphor as to how my week has been.

Lets not ponder over that and  instead, get straight to the grub!

Aromatic Thai Chicken 
 Serves approx.six:
1kg chicken pieces (I used thighs)
 1 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
Small teaspoon sugar
Half teaspoon black mustard seeds* (yellow/brown would do)
Teaspoon Thai curry paste
Pinch chilli powder
1 teaspoon fish sauce* (reduced fish stock would do)
1 tablespoon lemon or lime juice
1 tablespoon groundnut (peanut) oil
1 stalk lemon grass, finely chopped
250ml/8fl oz coconut milk
125ml/4fl oz water
*3 tablespoons roasted cashews, optional
OR
Helen's crispy curried concoction!

Thai curry paste can be made however, in this case, I bought a small jar which I'll use for quick curry dishes with leftover chicken.   Keep it in the fridge, once opened.   The fish sauce, you should be able to buy at any supermarket or Chinese Food Outlet, but if you have difficulty, then buy a fish stock cube and dissolve it in a little water...not quite the same but it would do.

Combine onion, garlic, sugar, black mustard seeds, curry paste, chilli powder, fish sauce and lime/lemon juice in a glass bowl.   Add chicken, coat well and set aside to marinade for 30 minutes-1 hour.

Heat groundnut oil in a large frying pan and stir fry lemon grass for a few seconds.   Add the chicken (don't bother scraping the onion mix off, leave on what clings to the chicken) and brown on both sides, around 4 minutes each.   Add the remainder of the onion mix and stir.

Stir in the coconut milk *you can buy this canned but I buy 50g sachets which I then dissolve in hot water to make coconut milk* and the water but only stir in the water if you have room in the pan and you think it needs it.   When I made this, I only used some of the water.   Simmer the chicken for 30 minutes or until the chicken is tender...I part placed a lid on (a well balanced plate as my frying pan doesn't have a lid!) and removed this for the last ten minutes so that the sauce could thicken up.

  

 Check seasoning; I found it needed rather a good pinch of sea salt and  lots of freshly ground black pepper.

Serve with rice; I placed the remaining sauce into a serving dish to be spooned over once the dish was plated up.

  

Topped with Helen's Crispy Curried Concoction

To make crispy curried concoction, place around four tablespoons of flour into a bowl and mix with a scant teaspoon of ground coriander and cumin, a pinch of curry powder, freshly ground black pepper and some salt.   I also added a good big pinch of my 'Melange de France' mix of dried herbs which contain garlic, onions, celery, parsley, tarragon, thyme, chillies, paprika and so on and so forth so I'd add whatever spice takes your fancy but go easy; a pinch at a time.   A little paprika turns the mix reddish in colour and some extra chilli powder will make it a wee bit more powerful.

Mix with water, using a fork to beat them together.   You want a runny mixture but one which will coat the back of your fork easily.   Heat some oil, at least an inch...really quite hot....and do a drop test: drop a tiny amount of mixture into pan and if it bubbles and rises immediately, it's ready.   Using a spoon, scoop up a tablespoon of the batter and pour it into the hot fat, swirling it as you do.   You can't really go wrong with this, as long as your fat is hot enough.   If it sticks to the bottom, don't worry, use a fat proof large slotted spoon to stir the batter.   Once it goes golden brown, scoop out the large and small crispy pieces and place on kitchen towel.   Sprinkle with a little salt.   Add more mix until all used.

Sprinkle over top of dish.   This, I used instead of the cashews and instead of serving with spiced bread.   It's really crispy and tasty but you don't need too much of it, it's just to add that other dimension and a bit of crispiness.  

I enjoyed this dish but I think it could have done with a kick; I think next time, I may add some chillies; I'd use one red and place a cut down the middle, placing it in the sauce before the 30 minute simmering.   I'd remove the chilli before serving.  

Chocolate Loaf Cake Recipe

By popular demand, here it is; I have to 'fess up here and tell you that, although I enjoyed this cake loaf, it didn't exactly work out.   The yeast granules I'd used were from a previously opened sachet and it had died, i.e. the yeast didn't work.   Let that be a lesson to me; opened sachets must be used within a few days.   That being said, we still ate it and thoroughly enjoyed it yes, Helen, add more fuel to the Scottish stereotype image of being tight...hey, I write a blog about it, I'm hiding nothing!..so imagine if it had actually risen properly.   I shall definitely make again but if you try it out, please let me know what you thought.

How my cake turned out....

 How it looked in the Women's Institute Bread Cookbook...

Hmmmm.....but it tasted lovely just the same.

Ingredients:
225g/8oz strong white bread flour
25g/1oz caster sugar (fine sugar, not granulated)
Half teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon fast action dried yeast...don't make my mistake!
50g/2oz dried and sweetened sour cherries
25g/1oz dessicated coconut
Grated zest of 1 orange
1 medium egg, beaten
50g/2oz creamed coconut (remember those sachets I was talking about?) dissolved in 125ml/4 fl oz boiling water and cooled to hand temperature
50g/2oz good quality dark chocolate, roughly chopped
Yet another beaten egg, to glaze

To decorate:
25g/1oz dark chocolate, melted
Sifted icing sugar, for dusting, ir in my case, coating....

Combine flour, sugar, salt, yeast, cherries, dessicated coconut and orange zest in a mixing bowl.   Make a well in the centre and plop in the egg and dissolved creamed coconut.   Mix to a soft dough.

Turn out onto a clean surface and knead for 10 minutes until smooth; it won't be as smooth as a plain loaf, obviously, what with all the other ingredients.   Don't worry if it looks messy, just keep pressing down with the heel of your hand, and turning.   It will eventually come together in a lovely, smelly....in a good way....loaf like shape.   Place into a bowl, cover and leave to prove in a warm place.   This is when my cake didn't double in size but it should definitely rise a little.   Around 1 hour should do it.

Put oven on to Gas Mark 6/200C/400F.

Punch the air out lightly and then mix in the chocolate, kneading it until incorporated.   Leave to relax for 10 minutes before dividing the dough into two equal strands.Join at one end and simply twist around each other.   Place on a greased baking tray, glaze with beaten egg and leave to prove once again, for approx. 15 minutes.   Bake for 20-25 minutes.   Cool on a wire rack and then drizzle the chocolate over the top and dust thickly not THAT thickly, Helen...!?...with icing sugar.

Chicken Goujons recipe to follow.....

 

 

Shopping Week 7-9

The menu this fortnight:

Salmon fishcakes

Chicken goujons and straw fries

Aromatic Thai chicken

Sausage & Mash

Lasagna

Tuna Mayo Salad

Farmhouse chicken and chorizo casserole

Spaghetti Bolognese

Parmesan, pine nut and lemon pasta

Chicken stew with dumplings

Spicy Chinese soup

Roast chicken with trimmings

Sesame salmon and crushed potatoes

Chicken and rice soup

Cheese and onion quiche

 

 

Chocolate & Cherry cake...I lost control of the sprinkler!

 

Receipt: £92; £41 per weekly shop

 

Marks and Spencer tin, now filled with homemade biccies

Sweet stuff (some breakfast):

Pikelets

Seville Orange & almond cake

Swedish tea ring

Chocolate buns

Pinwheel biscuits

Scones

Crepes

Chocolate Marquise cake

Snacks (some breakfast):

Fruit

Homemade bread

Cheese

Ryvita

Toast

 

Lunches:

Soup

Sandwiches

Pasta

Baked potatoes

 

 

Fried potatoes with cumin and coriander...mmmm.

 

 

Picture for Jennifer

Whatever happened to quiet weekends?

Kids.   

Yes, you!

That's what happened.   Kids I tell ya!   Remember going out on a Friday night straight from work?  You'd hit Fouquets and dine on their shared platter, eating a mozarella stick or onion ring for every martini drunk, heading home to change at 9pm to go to a club and falling into a coma like sleep about 3am.   Rising at noon, you'd head out to the local cafe for brunch and watch the world go by in large, dark glasses long before such a thing was trendy....no little dogs in large bags in Glasgow.....then stroll home through the park, napping on the sofa until dinner time and then spending an hour getting ready with the radio blaring and doing it all over again, with the addition of the Sunday papers this time and a huge fry up rather than Saturday's croissant.

I don't actually miss those days but isn't it funny that in my head, that was my definition of a quiet weekend?

This weekend was spent, amongst other things, entertaining, birthday celebrating Happy Birthday, Heather, my lovely little niece, swimming and bear shopping.   On Friday, we had friends come over...10 adults and 11 kids; there are times when I realise my optimism doesn't always overcome the space I have although gin does.....but we settled in to our limited space and enjoyed the night.

I opted for comfort food, food that kids and adults alike would eat....beef stew, chicken and chorizo casserole with dumplings, vegetarian lasagne, homemade pizza, bread, sausage and mash with lashings of gravy yes, that was a water jug I used and a big, fat, ungainly, cartoon like chocolate cake.

The kids helped; the messier looking, the better they said....

It was all fine and served fairly hot although I've discovered that the temperature to heat up beef stew and chicken and chorizo casserole should definitely be different.   Next time, one in a pot, one in the oven.

My lovely Irish bloggy friend,  Mise had a giveaway.   Having never won anything or having been told not to enter as Scotland is too far too post we do have airmail ya know...it might be in the form of pigeons but it still gets here....I was incredibly surprised and delighted to win a lovely tea cosy from the amazing peeps at Mabel and Violet.   This stuff is seriously lovely and the website, moreish!   Thank you, Mise, Mabel and Violet; I love it, the kids love it, husband thinks it's a bit mental and my friend tried to steal it  no-one's seen her for days......   All of which are good.  Now, if you could make a Helen cosy, I'd sure appreciate it.....

Kelly pouring me some funky tea!

 

Kelly wanted mash cakes and peas so we gave her The McGinn Family to scoff.

 

The kids made oat and choccy chip cookies! Well done, kids....sorry there are none left.....

Farmhouse Chicken and Chorizo Casserole

When I made this dish, I added the chorizo at the end because I couldn't get one at the time; I recommend cooking it with the stew to intensify the flavour and so that the chorizo is as tender as the chicken.   Adding it at the end was nice but it was still chewy and the oil didn't have the same chance to ooze out, coating everything in sight...always a good thing with chorizo.   Any spicy or not spicy sausage could be used.   I also make it without the chorizo as a cheap and tasty family dish.

I also recommend doubling up on the quantities; this freezes beautifully.

Oven 200oC, 400oF, Gas 6.

1.5kg/3lb chicken pieces (I use thighs, skin removed but use whatever you prefer)

1 whole chorizo sausage, sliced half an inch thick.

Seasoned flour, approx. 4 tablespoons

60g/2oz butter

1-2 crushed cloves of garlic

600ml/1 pt chicken stock

2 tablespoons tomato puree (mixed into stock)

1 tablespoon veg oil

Selection of root veg; turnip, parsnip, carrot, diced

4 small onions, roughly chopped or 8 shallots whole.

3 slices of bacon, chopped

8 new baby potatoes, quartered or 4 Maris Piper, cut into eight.

Salt, freshly ground black pepper, chopped parsley (fresh)

Toss chicken in flour to cook, brown in pan with melted butter over a medium heat and transfer to a casserole dish.   Throw in sliced chorizo, toss around the pan for a moment and add to chicken.   Remove with a slotted spoon so that the remaining butter and chorizo oil remain.  Add garlic to pan and leftover flour, cook over low heat for a minute, stirring all the time and then remove from heat and slowly add stock and puree mix.   Put back in heat, stirring constantly until mixture boils and thickens.   Pour over chicken and chorizo.   Cover and bake for 30 minutes.

 Browned and covered with sauce

Heat the oil in a pan and cook root veg over a medium heat for a few minutes; remove onto a plate and add onions and bacon to the pan.   Cook until the bacon is crisp.   Take chicken dish from oven and add in the root veg, the onions and bacon alongside the uncooked potatoes, black pepper and parsley.  

 Veg and parsley added

Cover and bake for a further 40 minutes.  If making dumplings, add them in 15 minutes before the end.  This is great to serve immediately or leave in the fridge to be reheated the next day.   Excellent dish if people coming over and time is limited.  

And then there were two....

I made Florence a sister; Kelly called her Dolly.

Dolly having a nap after her 'operation'.

Dolly was well stuffed, unlike her wee sis Florence.

Rag Doll No. 2; pretty girl.

We had beef stew with potatoes and dumplings last night, all cooked in the one pot. Lucy helped with the dumplings.

Beef Stew, potatoes, carrots, onions and dumplings.

It was warming, tasty and just perfect for a cold winter's night.


There was nothing left!

We had shortbread drizzled with chocolate for dessert.


Shortbread...mmmmm.

The temperature reached -20 in some parts of Scotland last night. We were at -11 and despite the heating on, it is cold. Any window that may have a tiny breeze or any tile which may be a wee bit loose lets in a bit of biting wind and reduces the temperature greatly, leaving the central heating struggling to cope.

The cold water is hard to bear, the tiled floor in the kitchen is like ice. There are icicles hanging from the awning and pipes ready to burst. Therefore, I have no choice but to snuggle within the confines of the toasty living room, drinking hot tea, eating leftover shortbread and spicy almonds that I'd made for Anne last night. It is a terrible thing to admit, but underneath this fetching outfit I'm wearing not...really, really not is the pair of pjs I refused to take off when I got up.

I'm taking the day off.

Soups

"This week, I'll be cooking mainly soups." the blogger announced.
"Why soups, Helen?!" they cried, most interestedly.
"Well, I shall tell you!" said she.

Autumn has reached us good and proper; the leaves have turned golden and scatter the landscape. The clocks went back an hour, the trees sway in the strong wind and the rain lashes down, reflections seen in puddles lit up by the orange glow of a street light as we hurry by. This is all we need to prompt us Scots to use one of the hundreds of ways we have to describe the weather, in particular, the rain:
"It's awfy dreicht!" cry some.
"It's pishin' doon!" cry others.
"Awa' and bile yer heid; it's only a smirr".

Translation:
It's rather wet and dismal, don't you think?
I rather think it's a bit more like a downpour myself.
Away and boil your heads, you pair, it's only a light rainfall.

The temperature has dropped, the woolies are oot, it's time for something warm and it's name is soup.! I love soup season; the parsnips get crisped and the pumpkins get roasted, haddock gets smoked and shallots get toasted. Gruyere is grated and bacon is fried and second helpings are never denied.

This weeks shopping came to just under £50. The menu this week is as follows:
Roasted Pumpkin Soup with melting cheese and croutons
Curried Parsnip & Apple soup with Parsnip Crisps
Indian Chicken Stew
French Onion Soup with gruyere croutons
Cullen Skink (fish soup)
Stovies (sausage and potato soup...!)
Omelettes (not a soup)
Chicken Bites & Baked Potatoes
Tuna Pasta
Bacon, eggs and beans

Scones
Welshcakes
Brown Bread
Toasted Baguettes
Pancakes

______________________________
Poor wee Kelly was sent home from school last week and had to stay off for yet another few days; illness is trying to consume us but we've been fighting it and it's nearly gone. To cheer the wee lass up, I made her...

Helen's Incredibly Delicious You May Just Die But It Will Be Worth It Hot Chocolate.

Do not underestimate the healing power of such things; tis magical!

How to make Helen's Hottie Hot Hottie (for short)

In the bottom of a cup, add two heaped teaspoons of grated chocolate/Green & Black's Organic Hot Chocolate/ Belgian Hot Chocolate flakes or a mixture of all of the above (or similar-as long as it's proper chocolate) and (this is very important; I'm revealing my secret ingredient so shhh, tell no-one) a heaped spoonful of Nutella! Yup. You heard me right.

Add a little cold milk, stir to make a paste and heat up in the microwave; feel free to do this in a pan of course. Once it heats up-check every 10 seconds in the microwave-and the chocolate is melted, stir vigorously adding more milk at the same time. Fill the cup 3/4 to the top and add a little sugar if the chocolate you use requires some. Re-heat. Stir well.

Plop a small handful of mini marshmallows into mug and top that with scootie cream, i.e. cream from a can! Dot the cream with marshmallows and grate/sprinkle over some of the chocolate. Serve with a long spoon and give to little child/adult/granny and watch that smile wash all over their face. It'll warm the cockles of any heart.

From Last Week....

Lemon roast chicken sprinkled with olive oil, thyme and salt. Half way through cooking, add potatoes and 15 minutes later, add an onion, quartered or chopped, carrots, peppers and any other root veg. Add stuffing balls near the end, depending on how much time they need to cook and crisp up and I sprinkled over some couscous to soak up the gravy. Lovely.


See that chicken? Yes, that one up there. It was picked clean and shoved into a bowl with the remaining stuffing, veg, gravy and couscous. Then tonight, I emptied it into an oven proof pie dish, added puff pastry and served it with broccoli and green beans. Doesn't exactly look pretty but tasted great.

Ugly cookies, eh? The kids loved them though. I used a basic cookie recipe and added 100g of breakfast cereal; any cereal to your taste would do. I added some Nutella and a white chocolate button. It's not all about appearances although I do agree it helps but the kids wolfed these down as an extra special breakfast treat at the weekend.

Onion Bhajis; very similar to the pakora recipe except without the spinach and with a mix of white onion and red onion plus a bunch of coriander. Served it with the pakora sauce and rice.

I went to Anne's for a wee soiree on Thursday night and a visit to another house for a little reunion party on Friday. To Anne's, I brought some of these basic little breads rolled small with goats cheese, herbs, tomatoes and Parmesan on top.

I also brought little quichelets; recipe to follow....

...and mini peanut butter bites. I made them with marg instead of butter though; nice but not quite the same. I also brought these to the reunion as well as some tikka bites which I didn't get a photo of.