Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

I was surprised recently to be asked to give a reference for a girl who used to work with me many years ago; I didn't mind in the least of course but it turned out that the person asking for the reference was an old friend of mine; he hadn’t realised it was the same Helen he’d had shots with in Curlers or the same Helen he had sang duets with at Hogmanay in Tennents Bar or the same Helen....let's leave it there.   I gladly sent a reference and it read like this:

Katie McGill killed my dog.   She hid my shoes and sold my clothes.   But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.   She shot my brother, my best friend and my cat.   She burned my flat down.   She even put the H1N1 virus in my tea.   She downloaded offensive material onto my computer that resulted in me being sacked from my job.  I’ve not been able to find employment since.   She put a banana in the exhaust pipe of my car, the subsequent crash leaving me unable to wear high heels ever again.   Just as well really, as I have no shoes.   Ever since then, she’s  kept me locked up in this house, unable to leave and brings me out only to cook dinner for her and her evil friends who tell me my cooking stinks or to write her blowhard blog.   However as far as operation management goes, she’s talented, reliable, professional, timely and great value for money.   I wouldn’t hesitate recommending her for the job.

I signed it with my maiden name and emailed it.

Twenty minutes later I got a phone call and was rather relieved to hear a loud, hearty laugh; apparently the whole office was amused but aghast until the man in charge realised who had sent it.

She got the job.  

 
Shona's very tasty Sticky McGintys


 
For Colin


 
Pancakes in a back to front jumper


 
Uh...where's MY pancakes??


 
Aww.


 
Nooooowwwww!


 
Friday's table roses have opened out


White rose by my fireplace

19 comments:

Caution Flag said...

What a fun reference! She must be a good friend.

Virginia Mom said...

I would have loved to have seen that guy's face as he was reading that reference until he got to the signature at the end and realized that it wasn't written by an absolute psychopath! Love your roses- I have a Christmas Cactus that's putting out buds again- apparently it wants to be a St. Patrick's Day Cactus, too! :)

ER said...

Oh, too funny! Thanks for that, Helen, your wit is just what the doctor ordered! And from these photos, your kids obviously have your sense of humour! ;D The dollies are adorable, do i see Etsy in your future? And those roses, they're stunning! :)

JennyMac said...

That is the best reference letter I have ever read. LOL.

I love Rice Krispie (Sticky McGintys) so feel free to share.

LisaDay said...

I, too, want to see that mans face. And have those roses on my table.

LisaDay

Michelle said...

Since I totally dont get the humor in this post, I can tell I'm going to ahve to go back through your previous posts to get you a little better. There goes my morning. LOL

Helen McGinn said...

Michelle, all you need to know is, don't ask me for a reference. ;O)

Caution Flag, luckily, the man who hired her was (is) a good friend. ;O)

Virginia Mom, I love the thought of a St. Patrick's Day cactus! And there's a little psycho in all of us, don't you think? ;O)

ER, thank you hon! I'd like to think so....watch this space. ;O)

JennyMac, *L* thank you. I'll post the recipe, just for you. Wish I could send you some! xx

LisaDay, it would have been cool if I'd gotten one of his colleagues to videotape it...*L*

Brittany said...

I just adore your sense of humor. What a fabulous reference!

Btw, Helen, do you make those dollies? I keep forgetting to ask you that. They are super precious.

Hanneke Nelson said...

Hihi... Your roses are absolutely gorgeous, by the way. I bought some fake ones yesterday. It's not yet flower season up here in the Northwoods...

obladi oblada said...

Beautiful roses, adorable kids, cute dolls, and hilarious reference!

Helen McGinn said...

Brittany, thank you! I lost two followers after I posted that....oops! *L* I did make them, thank you, I'm a novice though.

Hanneke, aren't they lovely? My friend brought them on Friday for me.

obladi, thank you hon! xx

Stacy said...

you are too cool, what a great Wordless Wednesday!!!

~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~ said...

HILARIOUS!! I nearly wet my britches laughing so hard!! I'm sharing this with my Human Relations friend. He'll get a kick out of it being that he reads umpteen resumes, applications and reference letters!

~melody~

Shelle said...

rotfl...that is just too funny!

Grannymar said...

I know who to call when I need a reference! lol.

aladdinsane12 said...

you had me on the floor with that reference letter! you're lucky he had a sense of humor (and remembered you)!

koralee said...

Cute post today..love your roses. xo

mimbles said...

LOL Love the reference and the photos! The "where's MY pancakes" look is a classic :-)

gaelikaa said...

Helen, you're a woman of substance, not to mention taste and class! That's why I love coming to your blog..