Katie McGill killed my dog. She hid my shoes and sold my clothes. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. She shot my brother, my best friend and my cat. She burned my flat down. She even put the H1N1 virus in my tea. She downloaded offensive material onto my computer that resulted in me being sacked from my job. I’ve not been able to find employment since. She put a banana in the exhaust pipe of my car, the subsequent crash leaving me unable to wear high heels ever again. Just as well really, as I have no shoes. Ever since then, she’s kept me locked up in this house, unable to leave and brings me out only to cook dinner for her and her evil friends who tell me my cooking stinks or to write her blowhard blog. However as far as operation management goes, she’s talented, reliable, professional, timely and great value for money. I wouldn’t hesitate recommending her for the job.
I signed it with my maiden name and emailed it.
Twenty minutes later I got a phone call and was rather relieved to hear a loud, hearty laugh; apparently the whole office was amused but aghast until the man in charge realised who had sent it.
She got the job.
Shona's very tasty Sticky McGintys
Pancakes in a back to front jumper
Uh...where's MY pancakes??
Friday's table roses have opened out
White rose by my fireplace